


Blondie

by Mr Dixonfusch (GohanRoxas)



Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter/Funhaus RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe, Bi-Curiosity, Bisexual Female Character, Explicit Language, Explicit Sexual Content, F/F, they're both single, to be clear Jess is not with Ryan and Barb is not with Aaron in this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-13
Updated: 2017-09-13
Packaged: 2018-12-27 08:00:16
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,155
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12076902
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GohanRoxas/pseuds/Mr%20Dixonfusch
Summary: Fan Expo Canada is coming to an end, and Barbara's in a quandary. She doesn't want to leave the people she cares about so much...though there's one person in particular she doesn't want to leave...





	Blondie

**Author's Note:**

> I both hate and love myself for writing this. Have some Barbara/Jessica smut because reasons.

It felt good to be home…well, what used to be home, anyway. It certainly helped that she was with all her friends at the con, not to mention all the fans and cosplayers that came by for an autograph, a photo, or even to say hi.

Even though she saw her all the time for RWBY recording sessions, Barbara still missed Arryn when she wasn’t around. Yang needed her Blake, after all, and they were back acting like the best friends they once did as soon as they arrived.

But then…then there was Jessica. Goddamn Jessica Nigri.

How the hell could one person be so freaking perfect? She was so random, so funny…and her being fucking gorgeous definitely helped. Barbara had said – internally, anyway – that if she were to ever hook up with a girl, Jessica is where she’d go if she had the chance.

She was staring into the distance again, wasn’t she? Ever since she came to Toronto, she’d begun just wistfully glaring at nothing at all. Probably because she had cogs turning so much in her head that someone could probably see steam coming from her ears. What the hell was she gonna do now?

A familiar voice broke her concentration. A lilting, beautiful voice. “Hey, why you looking so Yang-ry?”

Barbara turned with a tiny, instinctive smile at the pun. Jessica. Of course. She immediately sat beside her with a theatrically heavy breath.

_Dammit. Caught me, gay thoughts._

“So,” Jessica continued, ordering a drink from the bartender, “you didn’t answer my question. You seem a little weird today. Con-flu already? Or do you just wanna see Pickle Jess again?”

Barbara laughed. “Pickle Jess was pretty amazing. No, I’m just…thinking. About how most of us are going elsewhere after this.”

“Damn, getting philosophical here.”

She smiled. “I mean, I’m going back to Austin, Arryn’s going to LA…you go back to Phoenix…”

Jessica arched an eyebrow at the pause and lingering nature of that last one, but stayed silent. Something told her Barb needed to vent anyway.

“So I was immediately starting to think, I kinda don’t…want the con to end, you know? Just…the people I care so damn much about all in the one place, never having to say goodbye to them…”

Jess snorted. “Like put a time bubble around Toronto? Everyone’s locked in and unaging until the end of days?”

It was Barbara’s turn to arch an eyebrow this time. “The hell did you get that one from?”

“Inner Whovian. Sorry.”

The native Canadian shook her head. “I mean, not like that, but…”

Jessica drained her drink and put a hand on Barbara’s shoulder. “C’mon. Let’s go.”

“Wait…where the hell are we going?”

“My hotel room. We’re gonna get drunker than we did on _Always Open_!” She jumped up and bounced happily…and boobily.

_Gay thoughts back again!_

She stifled her mind’s screaming and stood up slowly, draining her second drink of the night. “Yeah, sure. Better to get wasted in private than drunk in public.”

“That’s the spirit!” Jess beamed as she dragged Barbara out the door.

* * *

Every single bottle in Jessica’s mini-fridge was empty on the floor now. Both blondes were roaring with drunken laughter about something or other. They were sober enough that they’d avoid immediate unconsciousness, but definitely far away from actually sober.

“I’M PICKLE JESS, BIIIITCH!” Jessica shouted, jumping off the bed and gyrating her hips.

Barbara snorted – actually snorted! – as she laughed, hands clasped to her stomach even as her body fell on the mattress.

The shorter-haired blonde giggled drunkenly and turned. “Easily both the best and worst thing I’ve ever done.”

“I dunno…you’ve done worse than that.”

“Bitch please, I know I’m trash.”

“You gave me a lady-boner for that guy from _Assassin’s Creed_!” Barbara protested. “The pirate one!”

“Okay, his name is Edward Kenway and he is my bae,” Jessica muttered.

They both laughed again, looking for all the world like the best friends they had become over the last few years.

Jess suddenly perked up as an idea came to her. “Hey…Truth or Strip!” she whispered.

Barbara blinked. “Truth or what?”

“It’s like truth or dare, but more fun,” she grinned, crawling onto the bed. “You ask a question, and the person has to answer truthfully. If they refuse, though…” Her grin widened and she even laughed. “Gotta take some clothes off!”

Well…her now-ingrained Gay Thoughts definitely liked that idea. Whether it was her or Jess taking their clothes off… “Eh, what’s the worst that can happen?”

“Attagirl!” Jessica cried, fistpumping and settling in. “Okay, any question at all. Ask me first.”

Barbara licked her lips as she scanned her mind for a question. “Right…ever done it with a girl?”

She shook her head. “Nope. Wanted to, but nope. And you stole my question!” She straightened and put on a fancy accent. “I’m asking you now, Ms Barbara Dunkelman! Have you ever had sex with a person of the female persuasion?”

“…no.” The pause was weighted, obvious.

Jess grinned. “Oooh~ Somebody’s been having thoughts lately?”

Barb was bright red now, wasn’t she? Yep, most likely.

“Come on! Ask me now!” the Phoenix native bounced.

She bit her lip. “How many times in a month do you masturbate?”

Jessica paused, mouthing something to herself before she just pulled off her top. “Can’t work it out, I’m too drunk to math right now.”

And the long-haired blonde was staring at Jessica Nigri in her bra now. What was her life?

_Boobs…_

“Okay, my turn to ask, and this is an…addendum? Addendum. It’s an addendum to my last question. Do you wanna diddle a girl?”

…She should have seen this one coming. The pause gave her away, gave her aware severely. But she still didn’t want to fess up about it. She just sighed and rose, unbuttoning her jeans and pulling them down.

Jessica laughed and clapped. “Both of us going for our best ass-ets, huh? Me with these…” Here she grabbed her own chest with both hands to emphasise her point. “…and you with dat ass!”

And now Barbara’s blush was a deeper red than Miles’ Ruby costume. “M-my turn…” she breathed. “Favourite costume?” Time to rein it in just a little bit.

She just smirked. “Duh. Pickle Jess. She’s very quickly wormed into my heart.” Jessica leaned backwards slightly and lifted her head. “Continuing my line of questioning…which girl do you wanna do?”

_Goddammit, Jess! I was trying to clean this up!_ She just wordlessly pulled off her shirt. “Superhero you wanna cosplay?”

Jessica was on the ball immediately. “Power Girl.” She leaned forwards again. “Do you, Barbara Dunkelman, wanna kiss me?”

She flinched immediately, getting redder still. She moved to undo her bra when…

“No, no, it’s okay,” Jess smiled, “let me answer for you.” And then lips collided with lips.

Holy shit. She was kissing Jessica Nigri. She was kissing Jessica Nigri while she was in her underwear. She was kissing Jessica Nigri while she was in her underwear and Jess was topless aside from her bra.

This. Was. Happening.

Barbara immediately kissed back, taking a heavy breath and pushing against the other blonde. Jessica smirked into the kiss and pushed back, and before long they were battling for dominance, their bodies and their tongues.

Jess, despite saying she’d never done it with a girl before, immediately fell into the role of the more-experienced lover, gently manoeuvring the longer-haired woman’s hands to her denim shorts, and especially the zipper. “Take ‘em off,” she breathed, immediately diving back in to kiss her again.

The strong but kind tone made Barbara take notice and she did as she was asked, unzipping Jessica’s shorts and pulling them down. Jessica lifted herself to make it easier for the fabric to come off – and at the same time pushed Barbara down onto the bed, lips migrating naturally to the Canadian’s neck.

Barbara’s breathing hitched as the other blonde began kissing and licking at her neck, and she let out a cry of pleasant surprise when Jessica grabbed her hands and pinned them above her head, her grip soft but controlling.

Jessica smiled and forced herself off Barbara’s neck even as she put the other’s hands around the poles in the bedhead. “Hold that. Don’t let go.”

Oh my God… The longer-haired blonde shivered with delight at the command, her submissive side immediately coming into play as she clasped the poles hard.

The other smirked wider at that reaction. “I remember that little confession on _Always Open_ …” She purred and reached behind Barbara, undoing her bra and tossing it aside. Immediately after the fabric was gone, Jessica’s hands began kneading and massaging the soft, exposed orbs, eagerly watching Barbara’s shuddering, moaning breaths as she toyed with her.

“Jess…please…” Barbara breathed, her arousal starting to get the better of her. “I need it…”

She laughed and began kissing down the other blonde’s body, lingering on her cleavage and just above her panties before finally, mercifully, she pulled off Barbara’s soaking wet panties and tossed them aside. “So you’ve wanted this a long time, huh?” Jessica grinned and immediately began kissing and biting at the inside of Barbara’s thigh, painfully close to her womanhood.

“Please fuck me, Jess…” the Canadian gasped, back arching as her grip on the posts tightened even further. “Please…I need you to do it…”

Jessica smiled and looked at the other blonde with adoration in her eyes. “I’ve been waiting for those four words.” Smiling, she leaned back down and wrapped her lips around Barbara’s clit, causing the other to gasp, cry out and arch her back.

The short-haired woman slipped two of her fingers inside Barbara’s nethers, probing around inside for a sweet-spot even as she began sucking on her engorged clit.

Barbara moaned and bit her lip hard, whispering out delighted curses as the woman of many a fantasy helped her relive one right now. Normally she could hold out for a while, but this? No, she couldn’t last too long with Jessica fucking Nigri eating her out.

Jess purred and moved her fingers again, finding what she hoped was Barbara’s G-spot and hitting it twice with two thrusts of her fingers.

And that was it. Barbara let out a sharp cry as she hit her peak, gasping out Jessica’s name amongst grateful curses. The other pulled her mouth away and just continued to finger the other blonde to let her ride out the release. Once she felt that Barbara had nothing left, she smirked and licked her fingers clean before rising off the bed.

“Wait…what are you…” Barbara began to question, but the words froze in her throat when the woman removed her bra and panties. And she immediately became a gibbering mess of gayness.

Jessica just laughed and came back to the bed, immediately straddling Barbara’s face, her womanhood hovering over the other blonde’s mouth. “You know what to do, right?”

Barbara just nodded dumbly, still staring at Jessica’s gorgeous, perfect breasts.

The other smiled and pulled Barbara’s hands off the bedhead and onto her chest. “You like these? Then have a play while you do what you’re supposed to.” So saying, she lowered herself, forcing contact between her nether lips and Barbara’s mouth.

The longer-haired blonde moaned and immediately began kneading and massaging Jessica’s boobs, playing with them like she’d dreamed of doing on more than one occasion, even as her lips and tongue began working on the other’s womanhood.

Jessica took a deep breath and moaned softly, hands grasping the top of the bedhead as she began to roll her hips gently against Barbara’s tongue. “Good girl…” she purred, throwing her head back as she breathed.

Barbara smiled and doubled her efforts, licking the other’s slit hungrily and toying with her nipples. Jessica immediately replied with a grateful, louder moan, continuing to grind against her mouth, eager to feel release.

How long they stayed like this, neither of them knew or cared. Could have been a couple of minutes, could have been a couple of hours. They just knew that it was amazing, and that it felt just plain right. All they knew was that Jessica let out a loud, breathy moan of the other blonde’s name as she released, riding out the high against the heavenly mouth until there was nothing left…and she collapsed beside Barbara in the bed, laughing breathlessly.

“Fuck…” Barbara panted, hands immediately going to Jessica’s boobs again. They were addictive on their own, that much was certain.

“Hehe, yeah,” Jessica smiled, kissing Barbara’s forehead. “Almost didn’t wanna stop…”

Now that was a call-back and a half. Barbara laughed. “Same time next con?”

The other blonde grinned and kissed the Canadian hungrily on the lips. “Who says I can wait that long?”

Barbara just smiled and kissed back eagerly. This was going to be a long night.


End file.
